John Wick 4

If you yearn for a complex plot with robust character development and complicated twists, do not see John Wick.  But if you want to be entertained from start to end, you should see it.   

In the first 5 minutes, we go from a New York City panoramic view to a Middle Eastern Desert with Wick on horse, chasing and killing guys.  Soon thereafter, we get our first, “Walecum  Meeester Weeeeek.”   Of course, a minute later, Meester Weeek takes out his peeestol and does what he does best.  It takes off from there.  

I won’t bore you with the plot because even if you haven’t seen this, you can pretty much write it yourself.  If you think of something along these lines, you’d be dead on:  

1.  Bounty is placed on John Wick.  He is chased.

2.  He runs, chases back, and kills.  

3.  Wash, rinse, repeat.  

4.  John Wick wins.

Oh ya, our hero dies at the end.  Boo.  

Lingering questions:

• Winston, Wick’s mentor, shoots Wick off the roof at the end of John Wick 3.  In this movie, John openly forgives Winston this trespass.  Why? Winston “made a mistake”.  Had a bad day? Error in judgement? Come on! Some things are beyond apology.  I don’t get it.   

• After a pistol duel at the end, poor Wick is suffering from multiple gun shots.  He needs serious medical attention; like, right now.  His friends are all around him calling him a great guy and a bad ass.  Surely, they can see his six bullet wounds.  Yet nobody bothers to call an ambulance.  Nice friends.  

Also, I’m curious, how many of you have actually been shot at point blank range while wearing a Kevlar vest? How about more than once? How about 1,984 times like John Wick suffered in twenty minutes? The pain and agony and shock of just one shot deflected by Kevlar is a life altering event one would never forget.  Yet Wick and friends can take it.  Amazing.  

In short, this movie stretches the boundaries of ridiculousness.  Countless bullets are effortlessly deflected by Sumo Wrestlers that wear Wonder Woman bracelets.  Yet more bullets  are deflected by guys that wear razor thin Kevlar suits(hint: those suits don’t exist).  People still live when they should be dead.  Cars smack into people and they just bounce off and carry on.  

It’s a shameless, killing choreography that some would be embarrassed to say they enjoy.  I’m not.  I love it.  But because the whole script is shorter than this review, and the screenplay was the result of an 8^th grader winning a class writing project, I have no choice but to give this flimsy excuse for a movie the rating it deserves: “Not all that crappy.”     

Now they’re talking about a John Wick 5.  Sure!